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This, I believe, is an adage that makes no sense.
It is easy to get ones mind around the notion that we can decide which of our acquaintances we hang out with, but the idea that you are stuck with family members no matter what, simply defies logic. Of course, its corollary, 'blood is thicker than water' carries the same connotation, but I have to tell you that I personally have my Brita set to h2o rather than plasma.
Back to the premise: One has to put up with whatever whatever simply because of genomic ties.
Why?
Is it because in a pinch, blood will out? Your family has to have your back...no matter what? They have to defend you against the clan around the corner who wants to have you for lunch?
Is it simply uber survival; protecting the genes?
Well, I'm dying, we all are, and there is just not that much time on the clock to waste with 'friends' or 'family' who do not, more often than not, increase the positive energy in my little world, as well as the world in general. We're weighed down and sinking because of the negative vibes, external control, and myth of inadequacy fallout that we sadly witness where ever we turn our gaze.
I don't have to add to that. I didn't choose to come into the world and I'm pretty sure I won't choose to go quietly into that good night, but in between, I think I need to do everything I can to live ethically in the moment, attempting to satisfy my needs while acknowledging that others have their own needs.
I overheard a dude noting that 'life was too short to smoke garbage weed, man', and while I may choose to spend my time a little differently, I knew in the moment that he was onto something.
1.) Life is too short to attempt to relive, rewrite, rehash the past, if it can't be changed or made right.
2.) Life is too short to be a victim rather than a survivor.
3.) Life is too short to spend with those who wish to put most of their energy into #1 or #2
4.) Life is too short to not search for the love, light and linkages that will help us realize our dreams and potential.
So, I believe, I'll choose both my friends and my family, because I don't have time to whiz away.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Monday, February 23, 2009
All you need is (self) love
I believe that all you need is love - love of self, that is.
When I was a little kid, Sister Stella said that you couldn't love anyone until you loved God. Well, of course, that was just one more aphorism that I could not get my mind around at 10 years old, but a few years later that phrase transformed to 'you can't love anyone until you love your Self (the capitol 'S' is a recent modification).
When the Beatles put out 'All You Need is Love', I had a hard time with that, as well. Right in the middle of my first nasty relationship break-up, I was pretty sure that they couldn't be right, because I certainly loved her, and she trashed the relationship, so...
Fast forward a lot of years, and now I know they were right, but they failed to underscore that you have to love your Self before attempting to connect in a healthy way with another. I also now believe that what passes for romantic love is, for many, really fear. It sure was for me all those decades ago.
I was afraid that I wasn't enough, but if she loved me, maybe I was ok. My love, then, was more akin to OC devoted to maintaining the illusion at all costs to keep the fear of inadequacy at bay.
Needless to say, that didn't work too well, and when she escaped, I was left with what I thought I was - nothing.
It took a lot of time and the help of five amazing people, but I believe I finally get it. A wise woman once opined that you can live in fear or you can live in love.
I choose love. I'm ok enough, and it feels pretty nice to be able to shine your Self love on another and have it reflect back on you.
Thank you all for helping me find that Sister Stella was saying, probably unknowingly, that I am, as are we all, God, worthy of the honest love from within and without.
When I was a little kid, Sister Stella said that you couldn't love anyone until you loved God. Well, of course, that was just one more aphorism that I could not get my mind around at 10 years old, but a few years later that phrase transformed to 'you can't love anyone until you love your Self (the capitol 'S' is a recent modification).
When the Beatles put out 'All You Need is Love', I had a hard time with that, as well. Right in the middle of my first nasty relationship break-up, I was pretty sure that they couldn't be right, because I certainly loved her, and she trashed the relationship, so...
Fast forward a lot of years, and now I know they were right, but they failed to underscore that you have to love your Self before attempting to connect in a healthy way with another. I also now believe that what passes for romantic love is, for many, really fear. It sure was for me all those decades ago.
I was afraid that I wasn't enough, but if she loved me, maybe I was ok. My love, then, was more akin to OC devoted to maintaining the illusion at all costs to keep the fear of inadequacy at bay.
Needless to say, that didn't work too well, and when she escaped, I was left with what I thought I was - nothing.
It took a lot of time and the help of five amazing people, but I believe I finally get it. A wise woman once opined that you can live in fear or you can live in love.
I choose love. I'm ok enough, and it feels pretty nice to be able to shine your Self love on another and have it reflect back on you.
Thank you all for helping me find that Sister Stella was saying, probably unknowingly, that I am, as are we all, God, worthy of the honest love from within and without.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Focus
I believe that what is 'distracting' is focusing on something that will not produce some benefit for the individual
Most people diagnosed with ADD that I have listened to, do not have a deficit of attention. When surveyed, they are paying attention to something, just not what the structured environment rewards one for.
When I feel I'm in the zone, I could say that I am distracted from the world going by because I'm not aware of place or time or people around, only the task at hand. Only thing is that I am rewarded for that distraction.
Find that you have been distracted from the world around you by the observation process on the young person you are attempting to help, and you earn a reputation for being a good clinician.
Be distracted from a performance by self-doubt, and thoughts of the Myth narrative, and you are going to stumble and perhaps tank.
Just as I believe that there is eu-stress and dis-stress, good and bad stress, in terms of perception if not physiology, I believe that there, then must be eu-focus and dis-focus. The former producing gain and satisfaction, while the other is counterproductive and not a little self-destructive.
If all behavior is designed consciously or unconsciously to produce a gain, there is benefit that accrues for choosing dis-focus rather than eu-focus.
Most people diagnosed with ADD that I have listened to, do not have a deficit of attention. When surveyed, they are paying attention to something, just not what the structured environment rewards one for.
When I feel I'm in the zone, I could say that I am distracted from the world going by because I'm not aware of place or time or people around, only the task at hand. Only thing is that I am rewarded for that distraction.
Find that you have been distracted from the world around you by the observation process on the young person you are attempting to help, and you earn a reputation for being a good clinician.
Be distracted from a performance by self-doubt, and thoughts of the Myth narrative, and you are going to stumble and perhaps tank.
Just as I believe that there is eu-stress and dis-stress, good and bad stress, in terms of perception if not physiology, I believe that there, then must be eu-focus and dis-focus. The former producing gain and satisfaction, while the other is counterproductive and not a little self-destructive.
If all behavior is designed consciously or unconsciously to produce a gain, there is benefit that accrues for choosing dis-focus rather than eu-focus.
Monday, January 19, 2009
A time of change
I believe in this man who will become president tomorrow.
I don't believe he is perfect, and I am not sure that I agree with all his ideas, but I believe for the first time in my life time, we have a leader who is a big-picture thinker and who is immensely intelligent, gathers information the way most of us breathe, and has answered the question "Am I enough?' in the affirmative, this latter creating a mind set that does not need to be liked, nor approved of. All of his considerable energy, then, can be brought to the task at hand.
If any of us kept our attention on our work, instead of being distracted by the environment, either external or internal, we too could consistently produce at a high level.
If any of us expunged our fear that drives the Myth of Inadequacy, what could we accomplish?
If we challenged the deeply held but erroneous fear that we in fact are less, what would our lives be like?
I believe we would be brilliant.
I don't believe he is perfect, and I am not sure that I agree with all his ideas, but I believe for the first time in my life time, we have a leader who is a big-picture thinker and who is immensely intelligent, gathers information the way most of us breathe, and has answered the question "Am I enough?' in the affirmative, this latter creating a mind set that does not need to be liked, nor approved of. All of his considerable energy, then, can be brought to the task at hand.
If any of us kept our attention on our work, instead of being distracted by the environment, either external or internal, we too could consistently produce at a high level.
If any of us expunged our fear that drives the Myth of Inadequacy, what could we accomplish?
If we challenged the deeply held but erroneous fear that we in fact are less, what would our lives be like?
I believe we would be brilliant.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Music
I believe in live music, anyone's live music.
Well, maybe not Celine Dion's live music.
Live music is far superior to heavily processed studio albums. In second place are the recordings of live music. I think it is the energy, the vibe that the current technology allows tapers to capture.
I was listening (Live Music Archive ) to a live audience recording of the New Years run of three shows (12/29, 12/30, and 12/31/2008, Portland OR) by what I'm beginning to believe is one of the best bands of all time - Railroad Earth, and I found myself muttering the tapers most commonly expressed epithet, "Shut the F&ckUp!", as I strained to hear a particularly soft piece of amazing playing while a female voice kept yelling "Yahoooo! Yahoooo!".
In a flash, I had the realization that this performance and recording are so full of the real energy of life that I'm driving down 395 having a Memorex-type experience, just as though I was there, as witnessed by my annoyance with the hammered wookie chicks.
I continued on home, enjoying the music and anticipating the next Whoot! Whoot!
Check it out if you have an interest:
http://www.archive.org/search.php?query=rre%20AND%20mediatype%3Aetree%20AND%20collection%3Aetree&sort=-publicdate
Well, maybe not Celine Dion's live music.
Live music is far superior to heavily processed studio albums. In second place are the recordings of live music. I think it is the energy, the vibe that the current technology allows tapers to capture.
I was listening (Live Music Archive ) to a live audience recording of the New Years run of three shows (12/29, 12/30, and 12/31/2008, Portland OR) by what I'm beginning to believe is one of the best bands of all time - Railroad Earth, and I found myself muttering the tapers most commonly expressed epithet, "Shut the F&ckUp!", as I strained to hear a particularly soft piece of amazing playing while a female voice kept yelling "Yahoooo! Yahoooo!".
In a flash, I had the realization that this performance and recording are so full of the real energy of life that I'm driving down 395 having a Memorex-type experience, just as though I was there, as witnessed by my annoyance with the hammered wookie chicks.
I continued on home, enjoying the music and anticipating the next Whoot! Whoot!
Check it out if you have an interest:
http://www.archive.org/search.php?query=rre%20AND%20mediatype%3Aetree%20AND%20collection%3Aetree&sort=-publicdate
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
I believe that the human animal is capable of so much more production and satisfaction than it currently outputs. I believe that each of us could do our jobs better, love more, laugh louder, and in general, squeeze all the juice out of life, and I don't think it would take a a lot to achieve this.
All we need to do is stop telling our Self that we are not enough. Easily written. Harder to accomplish, evidently.
Look around. How many of us are energized, anticipating tomorrow and the challenges before us?
The narrative has immense power. The way the human psyche works is simple, in a way. Reinforce a concept repeatedly and it becomes reality. The Myth of Inadequacy, being linked to survival, begins to develop at the point that the child realizes that it cannot take care of itself without a fair amount of help.
The thing is that we tell ourselves the story so often that it grows in strength, and we continue to recount the myth, even when we can take care of ourselves pretty well.
If we consciously, intentional begin to challenge the myth with the reality of our ability, we can devote our focus to whatever the task at hand might be., and I believe we would work, play love, be better simply by not being distracted by the untruth that we are not enough.
All we need to do is stop telling our Self that we are not enough. Easily written. Harder to accomplish, evidently.
Look around. How many of us are energized, anticipating tomorrow and the challenges before us?
The narrative has immense power. The way the human psyche works is simple, in a way. Reinforce a concept repeatedly and it becomes reality. The Myth of Inadequacy, being linked to survival, begins to develop at the point that the child realizes that it cannot take care of itself without a fair amount of help.
The thing is that we tell ourselves the story so often that it grows in strength, and we continue to recount the myth, even when we can take care of ourselves pretty well.
If we consciously, intentional begin to challenge the myth with the reality of our ability, we can devote our focus to whatever the task at hand might be., and I believe we would work, play love, be better simply by not being distracted by the untruth that we are not enough.
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